Day 6 "Japanese Engrish"

Alright now for what everyone has been waiting for...

POOR JAPANESE TRANSLATIONS!

This was found at a... "church?"  No, temple...  yea... This was found at a temple.  Basically what you do is you buy one of those wooden blocks put your face on it and write down your dreams.  Then, bastards like me will come and make fun of you for it.  Like, if you want to become a "rich woman" why did you buy a block with a guy's face on it?  The thing is that these little blocks of wood are hung from pegs that cover up an entire wall.  I mean there's usually an entire wall of these at any given temple we visited.  The fact that I saw this one out of maybe hundreds or thousands of wishes means that I was meant to see it, take a picture of it, and put it here for your amusement.  It's fate I tell ya...

Oh yes this is a big neon sign on the side of a building.  It's so big that stepping any further away will put me in a store.  I literally had to stand up against the adjacent building to get far enough to take this picture.  Even then, this is actually two pictures I put together using photoshop.  Ahhhh, the power of PS.  Anyways the reason why I'm making such a big deal about this is because I want to emphasize how big this sign really is.  It is big, bright and pink so you know it gets lots of attention.  What's it for?  I have no idea.  I didn't bother to go into the store.  However, there is a store called "Pink Godzi-R-a" somewhere in Japan.  Oh boy.  Ok so just to somewhat explain.  The Japanese really have their own Engrish.  It's basically English spoken in a Japanese fashion.  Coffee is "co-hay," PJ's are "pa-je-ma," and fuck you is "fook-a ni."  Well "ni" is Japanese for you but is sure sounds like me.  Boy was that a shock when I saw a Japanese guy with dreads and a "we miss you Tu-Pac" shirt on and he said that to me.  Man, like my culture much?

This one is only better because I actually went into the store.  I mean... I happened upon it accidentally when I was innocently shopping...  Right... like I shop...  So I saw the sign and I went porno hunting.  Here's the interesting part, this shop despite the big glowing sign in front did not just sell porno.  Actually I don't know what the sign says exactly so I can't really say what else they are supposed to sell but I see "Porno" and I'm expecting porno.  What do I get in it's stead?  Phone cards, lots of that and little cutesy toys I find in every other Japanese store.  Oh man was I disappointed.  Sensing my obvious disappointment a worker of the store came by and ask me if I was alright.  He obviously heard me discretely scream out "Awww damnit!  Where's the porno!?"  Funny thing was he spoke decent English.  We started up a conversation.  Now I know most people may be uncomfortable talking about this in any situation let alone in an actual porno shop with lots of people walking by looking at you.  But hey, I'm a stranger in a foreign land.  I'm not going to see these people ever again, besides, I've been in Japan for 6 days now.  I'm starting to get used to all the people staring at me.  So I start talking about porno with the guy that works there.  He tells me that this shop was originally set up for all the tourist who want to see Japanese porn.  I had forgotten that I was constantly in tourist traps.  This shop did well.  Apparently tourist who come here got the impression that the Japanese are really freaky.  Oh jeez, I wonder where they got that idea from?!  I was going to link that last statement with a site and just tell everyone that they should not click on it.  But my sense of humanity and sense of moral obligation forbade me to continue.  Well, the guy eventually told me a bunch of useless facts like the government there at one time forbade any phallic shaped objects anywhere.  Which kind of explained why there were dildo's of "hippos" climbing "trees."  I say "kind of" because that explained the "why there was an abundance of little animals climbing various things" but not "how did someone come up with that idea" question.  That also doesn't explain how the same society can have a festival devoted entirely to the penis.  In any case he eventually showed me the porno videos... in the way back.  I wish I hadn't gone.  Oh... GOD... the Japanese are freaks.